I, Lust…I, Love…I, Desire

“Shruthi,” Ashok’s voice was low, almost a whisper. But it carried a weight that made her heart skip a beat. She turned to face him, her cheeks flushed, her breath catching in her throat. “Do you ever think about  us?”

Her eyes widened, her mind racing. Us? What did he mean by us? She gripped the edge of the kitchen counter, her knuckles turning white. “Ashok, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

He stepped closer, his presence filling the room. She could smell the faint hint of his cologne, something earthy and masculine that made her head spin. “Don’t pretend you haven’t noticed how I look at you. The way I’ve been looking at you ever since you married my son.”

Her lips parted, but no words came out. She had noticed, of course, she had. How could she not? The lingering glances, the way his hand would brush against hers when passing a cup of tea. The way his eyes seemed to darken whenever she wore something a little too tight, a little too revealing.

But she had pushed those thoughts away, buried them deep down where they couldn’t hurt anyone. “Ashok, this is wrong,” she stammered, though her voice lacked conviction. Her body betrayed her, her pulse quickening, her skin tingling with a strange, electric anticipation.

“Is it?” he murmured, his hand reaching out to gently brush a strand of hair from her face. His touch was feather-light, but it sent shivers down her spine. “Because it doesn’t feel wrong to me. Not when I see how you look at me when you think I’m not watching.”

She swallowed hard, her mind a whirlwind of confusion and desire. She had always been shy and reserved, a woman who followed the rules and never stepped out of line. But something about Ashok awakened a part she didn’t even know existed—a hunger, a craving for something forbidden.

“You don’t have to say anything,” he continued, his voice soft, almost tender. “Just  let me show you.”

It had started innocently enough. Shruthi had been married to David for six months. Life in Bangalore was everything she had hoped it would be. She loved her job as a techie, the bustling city, and the little apartment they had made their home.  But there was something off.

Something she couldn’t quite put her finger on. It wasn’t David—he was everything she had dreamed of in a husband—kind, attentive, loving. No, it was Ashok, her father-in-law.

From the moment she had met him, there had been something different about him. Something that made her stomach flutter, and her breath catch.

At first, she had convinced herself that it was just respect and admiration for the man who had raised her husband. But as the weeks passed, she began noticing how he looked at her. Those lingering glances, the subtle way his eyes would roam her body when he thought she wasn’t looking.

And then there were the messages. It had started with a simple text—a joke, something innocent. But then the jokes became flirtier, more suggestive. Shruthi had tried to ignore them. She convinced herself it was harmless and that Ashok was just being friendly. But deep down, she knew it was more than that.

“Can’t stop thinking about you,” he had written one night after David had gone to bed. She had stared at her phone, her heart pounding in her chest. She should have deleted the message and should have told him to stop. But instead, she had typed back, “Me too.”

And just like that, the floodgates had opened. They began sending messages late at night when David was asleep. When the world was quiet, it felt like it was just the two of them. The texts became more explicit and more daring.

“I want to taste you,” Ashok had written one night. Shruthi had felt a surge of heat between her legs, her fingers trembling as she typed, “I want that too.”

And now, they were standing in the kitchen. The tension between them was thick enough to cut with a knife. Ashok’s hand was still on her face, his thumb gently tracing the curve of her cheekbone.

“Shruthi,” he whispered again, his voice husky with desire. “Tell me you want this as much as I do.”

She hesitated momentarily. Her mind screamed to stop, walk away, and pretend this had never happened. But her body had other ideas. She leaned into his touch, her lips parting as she whispered, “I do.”

That was all the encouragement he needed. In an instant, his lips were on hers, hungry and demanding. She moaned softly, her hands gripping his shoulders as she kissed him back, her body arching into his. His hands roamed her body, exploring every curve, every inch of her.

He pulled her close, his hardness pressing against her thigh, making her gasp.

“Ashok,” she breathed, her voice barely above a whisper. “We can’t. David could walk in at any moment.”

“Let him,” Ashok growled, his hands sliding under her shirt, his fingers teasing her nipples. “Let him see what he’s missing.”

She whimpered, her head falling back as he kissed her neck, his teeth grazing her sensitive skin. Her body was on fire, every nerve ending alive with pleasure.

“I’ve wanted this for so long,” he murmured, his lips trailing down her chest, his hands tugging at her jeans. “I’ve wanted you.”

She didn’t protest as he slid her jeans down her legs, leaving her in nothing but her panties. His eyes darkened with desire as he took in the sight of her, his hands gripping her hips as he pulled her closer.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. “Every part of you.”

She felt a surge of warmth between her legs, her body aching for his touch. “Ashok, please,” she begged, her voice trembling with need.

He didn’t make her wait. In one swift motion, he dropped to his knees. His hands slid up her thighs as he kissed the sensitive skin of her inner thigh. She gasped, her hands tangling in his hair as he moved closer. His breath was hot against her most intimate place.

“I’m going to make you feel so good,” he promised, his voice low and husky.

And then his mouth was on her, his tongue exploring every inch of her, licking and sucking until she was moaning with pleasure. She gripped the counter for support, her legs trembling as he brought her closer and closer to the edge.

“Ashok!” she cried out, her voice filled with ecstasy.

He didn’t stop, his tongue working magic as he brought her to the brink of pleasure again and again. She was lost in the sensation. Her mind was blank except for the overwhelming pleasure coursing through her body. And then, just as she was about to reach her climax, she heard it.

The sound of the front door opening.

“Shruthi? Ashok? I’m home early!” David’s voice rang out, his footsteps growing closer.

Shruthi’s eyes flew open, her heart pounding in her chest. “David!” she gasped, panic flooding her veins.

The sound of the front door closing echoed through the house. Shruthi’s heart hammered in her chest as she hastily straightened her clothes. Her lips tingled from Ashok’s kiss. Her mind raced, guilt and desire clawing at her in equal measure. She could hear David’s footsteps in the hallway, his voice calling out.

“Shruthi? Ashok? Are you home?” His tone was cheerful, oblivious to the storm that had just erupted in the kitchen.

Ashok stepped back, his eyes dark and unreadable, though a faint smirk played on his lips. He adjusted his shirt and ran a hand through his hair, the picture of calm. Shruthi, on the other hand, felt like she was teetering on the edge of a precipice.

She smoothed her hair and took a deep breath, trying to steady herself.

“In the kitchen,” Ashok called out, his voice steady and reassuring.

David appeared in the doorway, a smile lighting up his face. “Hey, there you two are.” He looked between them, his expression innocent and trusting. “What’s going on?”

Shruthi forced a smile though her hands were trembling. “Just… cleaning up. Dinner’s almost ready.”

David nodded, oblivious. “Great, I’m starving. Need any help?”

“No,” Ashok interjected smoothly, his eyes flicking to Shruthi. “We’ve got it under control. Why don’t you relax? You’ve had a long day.”

David shrugged, his easygoing nature making him accept the explanation without question. “Alright, I’ll just grab a quick shower. Don’t start without me!”

As David disappeared down the hall, Shruthi let out a shaky breath. She turned to Ashok, her voice barely above a whisper. “What are we doing? This is… this is wrong.”

Ashok stepped closer. His presence was overwhelming. He tilted her chin up, forcing her to meet his gaze. “Is it?” he murmured, his voice low and dangerous. “You don’t seem to think so when I’m touching you. When I’m making you feel things you’ve never felt before.”

Shruthi’s breath caught, her body betraying her as a rush of heat pooled between her thighs. She shook her head though her eyes remained locked on his. “We can’t… David…”

Ashok’s smirk widened, his thumb brushing over her bottom lip. “David doesn’t have to know. This is between us. It’s our little secret.”

Shruthi’s mind was a whirlwind of conflicting emotions. She wanted to pull away, to tell him to stop, but her body was screaming for more. The memory of his hands on her, his mouth on her skin, sent shivers down her spine. She had never felt so alive, so desired.

As if reading her thoughts, Ashok leaned in, his lips brushing her ear. “You want this, Shruthi. You want me. Admit it.”

She closed her eyes, her resolve crumbling. “I… I can’t.”

“You can,” he insisted, his voice firm but gentle. “Give in to it. Let me show you what you’ve been missing.”

Shruthi’s knees went weak as his hands slid down her back, pulling her closer. She could feel the heat of his body, the hardness of his chest against hers. Her nipples tightened, and she bit her lip to stifle a moan.

“Ashok…” she whispered, her voice trembling.

“Say my name again,” he demanded, his breath hot against her skin. “Let me hear you.”

Shruthi’s eyes fluttered open, meeting his intense gaze. “Ashok,” she breathed, her voice barely audible.

He groaned low in his throat, his fingers tangling in her hair as he claimed her mouth in a searing kiss. Shruthi melted against him, her resistance fading with each passing second. She was lost in the sensation, in the forbidden thrill of it all.

Ashok’s hands roamed over her body, igniting fires wherever they touched. He broke the kiss, trailing his lips down her neck, nipping and sucking at her sensitive skin. Shruthi’s breath hitched, her fingers gripping his shoulders for support.

“You’re so beautiful,” he murmured against her skin, his voice husky with desire. “I’ve wanted you for so long.”

Shruthi’s heart raced, her mind spinning. She knew she should stop and push him away, but his lips on her skin were intoxicating. She wanted more, needed more. Her body ached for him in a way she had never experienced before.

Ashok’s hands slid under her blouse, his fingers brushing against the bare skin of her waist. “Let me take care of you,” he whispered, his voice thick with need. “Let me make you feel good.”

Shruthi’s breath came in short, shallow gasps as his fingers moved higher, cupping her breasts through her bra. She arched into his touch, a soft moan escaping her lips. “Ashok…”

His thumb brushed over her hardened nipple, and she gasped, her hips bucking against his. “Oh god…”

Ashok chuckled darkly, his lips returning to hers in a deep, possessive kiss. He backed her up against the counter, pinning her in place with his body. Shruthi’s hands tangled in his hair, pulling him closer, desperate for more.

His hand slipped between her thighs, his fingers tracing the wetness soaking through her panties. “So wet for me already,” he murmured, his voice dripping with satisfaction. “You’re desperate, aren’t you?”

Shruthi whimpered, her legs trembling as his fingers pressed against her clit through the thin fabric. She bit her lip to stifle another moan, her hips rolling against his hand.

“Don’t hold back,” Ashok growled, his fingers pressing harder. “Let me hear you.”

Shruthi’s resolve shattered, and a low moan tore from her throat. “Oh god, yes…”

Ashok’s lips curved into a wicked smile as he hooked his fingers into the waistband of her panties, pulling them down her legs. He dropped to his knees, his breath hot against her inner thighs. Shruthi’s heart pounded in her chest, her hands gripping the edge of the counter for support.

“Look at you,” Ashok murmured, his eyes dark with lust as he gazed at her. “So fucking perfect.”

Shruthi’s breath hitched as his tongue dragged through her wet folds, lapping up her arousal. Her legs trembled, and she let out a strangled moan, her hips bucking against his mouth.

“Oh god, Ashok… please…”

Ashok’s hands gripped her hips, holding her in place as his tongue flicked against her clit. Shruthi’s head fell back, a cry escaping her lips as waves of pleasure coursed through her body.

“That’s it,” Ashok murmured against her, his voice thick with desire. “Let me taste you.”

Shruthi’s hands tangled in his hair, her hips grinding against his mouth as he worked her with his tongue. The sensations were overwhelming, and she could feel herself spiralling toward the edge.

“Ashok… oh god, yes… don’t stop…”

He responded with a deep, guttural groan, his tongue delving deeper, his fingers pressing against her entrance. Shruthi’s breath came in ragged gasps, her body trembling as pleasure built within her.

“I’m close… oh god, I’m close…”

Ashok’s fingers curled inside her, hitting that perfect spot as his tongue continued to work her clit. Shruthi’s vision went white as her orgasm crashed over her, her body convulsing with pleasure. She cried out, her voice muffled as she bit down on her hand to keep from screaming.

Ashok didn’t let up, his mouth and fingers coaxing every last drop of pleasure from her. Only when she was limp and trembling did he finally pull away, his lips glistening with her arousal.

“Good girl,” he murmured, standing and capturing her lips in a searing kiss. Shruthi could taste herself on his tongue, the realization only heightening her arousal.

“Ashok…” she whispered, her voice shaky. “What are we doing?”

He smirked, his hands resting on her hips. “We’re just getting started, Shruthi. And this time, no one’s going to interrupt us.”

Shruthi lay in bed, the heavy weight of guilt pressing down her chest like a stone. The night had been long and sleepless, her mind a whirlwind of conflicting emotions. Whenever she closed her eyes, she saw David’s trusting face, warm smile, and gentle hands.

It killed her. How could I do this to him? she thought, clutching the blanket tightly as tears streamed down her cheeks. She had avoided intimacy with him since the incident in the kitchen. The guilt gnawed at her until she felt hollow. When sleep finally claimed her, it was fitful.

It was filled with dreams of Ashok’s piercing eyes and David’s shattered trust. She woke late, the sun already high in the sky. The house was quiet. She could hear the faint sound of the front door closing as David left for work. She sighed, dragging herself out of bed.

Her body was heavy with exhaustion. As she washed her face, she caught her reflection in the mirror—puffy eyes, tear-streaked cheeks, messy hair. She looked as broken as she felt.

A knock at the door startled her. “Shruthi? Are you awake?” Ashok’s voice was deep and smooth, sending a shiver down her spine. She froze, her heart pounding. Why is he here? She quickly climbed back into bed, pulling the blanket over her head, pretending to be asleep.

The door creaked open, and she could feel his presence in the room. ‘Please, just go away,’ she begged silently. But he didn’t. Instead, she heard the soft clink of a glass set on the bedside table, followed by the rustle of a plate. Fresh juice and breakfast. The scent of it made her stomach churn.

“Shruthi,” Ashok said gently, his voice low and soothing. “You’ve been crying. I can see it. Talk to me.”

She stayed still, her breath shallow, her body tense. He sighed, and for a moment, she thought he might leave. But then she felt the bed dip as he sat beside her. His hand brushed against her shoulder, a gentle, almost reverent touch. She flinched, pulling the blanket tighter around her.

“I’ll let you rest,” he murmured, standing up and leaving the room. The door closed softly behind him, and she let out a shaky breath, her heart racing.

Hours passed, and Shruthi drifted in and out of sleep, her mind fog of guilt and confusion. The house was eerily quiet, and she felt utterly alone. When she finally opened her eyes again, the clock on the bedside table read noon. She groaned, rubbing her face, her body still heavy with exhaustion.

She didn’t hear the door open this time. The first thing she felt was the gentle brush of fingers against her ankle, sliding up her leg beneath the hem of her skirt. She stiffened, her breath catching in her throat. David? she thought wildly, her heart racing.

But no, the touch was too deliberate, too confident. She knew who it was even before she felt his breath against her thigh. “Ashok,” she whispered, her voice barely audible. But he didn’t stop. His fingers hooked into the waistband of her panties, sliding them down her legs.

She should have pushed him away, should have screamed. But her body betrayed her, a soft moan escaping her lips as his mouth found her core. His tongue was relentless, teasing and probing, sending waves of pleasure through her. She felt her hips shift instinctively, seeking more of him.

His hands found her breasts, rolling her nipples between his fingers. The dual sensations driving her wild. She buried her face in the pillow, muffling her moans, her body trembling with every flick of his tongue.

“Ashok,” she gasped, her voice shaky. “Please, lick harder.”

The words were out before she could stop them, and she froze, realization crashing over her. What am I saying? She sat up abruptly, pushing him away with both hands. Her heart was pounding, her chest heaving as tears sprang to her eyes.

“Get out!” she sobbed, her voice breaking. “Get out of here, Ashok! I can’t do this! I can’t!”

He stared at her, his expression unreadable, his lips still glistening with her wetness. For a moment, he didn’t move. His dark eyes locked on hers. Then, slowly, he stood up, adjusting his pants with deliberate calm.

“You’re crying again,” he said softly, reaching out to brush a tear from her cheek. She flinched, pulling away.

“Stop,” she whispered, her voice trembling. “Please, just stop. I can’t do this. It’s wrong. I’m betraying David. I’m betraying myself.”

Ashok sighed, his gaze never leaving hers. “You think this is about betrayal?” he asked, his voice low and steady. “This is about desire, Shruthi, about what you want and need. You can’t deny it. Not anymore.”

She shook her head, tears streaming down her face. “It’s not that simple. I love David. I can’t— I won’t—“

“You already have,” he interrupted his voice firm. “You’ve already crossed that line, Shruthi. And now you’re punishing yourself for it. But you don’t have to. You don’t have to feel guilty for wanting something more.”

She stared at him, her breath hitching, her mind a whirlwind of confusion. He’s wrong, she thought desperately. This is wrong. But why does it feel so right?

Ashok stepped closer, his hand cupping her cheek, his thumb brushing away her tears. “Let me show you,” he murmured, his voice a whisper. “Let me take away the guilt. Just for tonight.”

She hesitated, her body trembling, her heart racing. I should say no. I should push him away. But  Her thoughts trailed off as his lips brushed against hers, soft and tender yet filled with promise. She felt herself melting into him, her resistance crumbling.

“Ashok,” she whispered, her voice shaky. “I don’t know.”

“Shh,” he murmured, his lips moving to her ear, his breath warm against her skin. “Just feel, Shruthi. Let go.”

And then his mouth was on hers again, his kiss deeper, more demanding. She moaned into it. Her hands tangled in his hair, her body arching into his. The guilt was still there, a nagging voice in her mind. But it was drowned out by the overwhelming need that consumed her.

Ashok’s hands slid down her body, gripping her hips and pulling her closer. She could feel his hardness pressing against her. The thought sent a shiver of anticipation through her. He broke the kiss, his dark eyes locking with hers, and she could see the hunger in them, the raw desire that mirrored her own.

“Tell me you want this,” he whispered, his voice rough. “Tell me you want me.”

She hesitated, her breath hitching, her heart pounding. I shouldn’t. I can’t. But the words spilt out before she could stop them.

“I want you,” she whispered, her voice trembling. “I need you, Ashok.”

He smirked, a predatory glint in his eyes. “Good girl,” he murmured, his hands moving to her waist, sliding her skirt up her thighs. “Now, let’s see how loud you can be when no one hears you.”

She gasped as his mouth found her neck, his teeth grazing her skin, sending a jolt of pleasure through her. His hands were everywhere, touching, teasing, driving her wild. She moaned, her fingers tangling in his hair, her body arching into him.

“Ashok,” she whispered, her voice shaky. “I’m so scared.”

“Don’t be,” he murmured, his lips brushing against hers. “I’ve got you, Shruthi. Just let go.”

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